JB’s Blog

You would think that having a good memory would be a wonderful asset.  At times it is, but at other times it can be a curse in disguise.  Take this exchange that happened last night.

My mother is baking for the holidays (yes I am trapped back at home now until I get my bar results), and I hear her yell that someone used the cream cheese she bought to bake with.  I walk in there and tell her she bought this 4 weeks ago for use with bagels and that I was with her.  I’m told that I am wrong.  I show her that the expiration date is up next week and clearly this was bought a long time ago, because I am the one that opened it 3 weeks ago.  Again I am told I am wrong because she bought this the other day.  So I have to search the fridge, and I find a newer cream cheese, and have to say, "You mean this one?"

The most frustrating thing is being told that someone thinks you are wrong when you are 100% certain that you are right because you remember clearly.  This is always happening to me.  This could be from remembering what I ate with someone, to what shows we have already seen, to places we have or have not been.

Here’s the kicker, if I am told to do some chore or errand, that I will forget within 15 seconds.

http://www.technorati.com/claim/r4mn55fnnv

It’s simple…I don’t eat it.  Unless it’s a grape, I don’t eat it.  Surely if I have a bite of a really sweet piece, I’ll want the rest…nope, I won’t.  And even if there are grapes around someone has to physically put them in front of me for me to decide to have them. 

Now I’m not gonna lie to you, I like the taste of many fruits.  I like the candies, and like all those pop-tart flavors.  (Smores is a fruit, right?).  Although fruit pies, fruit cakes, smoothies…not a fan of either.  Can’t resemble a piece of fruit too much.  Skins and textures of fruits just annoy me, not sure why.

So I know what you’re thinking, that’s not healthy.  Well I’ll make you a bet that I have been healthier than you the past few years. 

I think another bar to me getting it is trying to figure out which ones in the store I’m supposed to pick out.  Do I juggle them, do I see which one gets the best spiral on a pass…I’m not sure.

So there you have it…fruit…don’t eat it, and to quote R.E.M., "I FEEL FINE!"

At the risk of sounding obsessed with weather (I swear I’m really not), I’ve noticed that the best weathermen are the guys that sell umbrellas outside the subways stations in NYC. 

Take, for example, the other week when I was in the city for some interviews.  It was perfectly sunny out…a beautiful day.  I had five hours to kill between interviews and so I sat out in the park and read and wandered around downtown NYC.  I went into the Financial History Museum, which was a 10X10 room with two exhibits.  I read every single plaque so that I could kill some more time and feel my admission price was worth it.  Then I went to walk along Wall Street and noticed there were guys selling umbrellas outside the subways.  I looked up, and the sun was shining and the weather looked great.  I laughed, thinking that these guys were wasting their time today.

I go inside for my second interview a couple hours later and as I am in the waiting room, I look out the window and notice it has suddenly gotten quite dark.  Then comes the rain.  I leave my interview and run toward the subway at full speed…umbrellaless.

So here’s my lesson for all of you.  If you see the umbrella sellers outside of the subway stop…make sure you have a f#@!ing  umbrella

I had to share my latest fortune from a fortune cookie. 

"Your observations are useful to others."

Glad to be of use.

So I was gone for a whole month.  I’m sure you all have somehow managed to deal.  I was studying and then taking the CT and NY bar examinations.  Now I have to just sit back and wait until the results come (end of Sept. for CT and end of Nov. for NY). 

I have moved back home temporarily as I search for a real lawyer job, as much fun as the unpaid internships have been and all. 

So that brings me to today’s topic…the unpaid internship.  Is it just me, or did these things not exist back when our parents were going to school.  Someone somewhere realized that students would be dumb enough to work for free if you told them "it’ll look good on the ol’ resume."  The college/high school internships are the biggest jokes.  Let’s face it, if you were really going to be honest, the description would look something like this

XYZ Corp., Intern.
Refilled the water jug everyday.  Properly mixed cream and the perfect amount of sugar in coffee.  Responded to retarded letters from people with too much time on their hands - letters so unimportant that it was a toss up if a chimp or me would respond to them.  Successfully picked up a phone and said hello.  Impressively made the copy machine get into a paper jam every day, and then fixed said paper jam.  Wrote Memoranda.  Wrote my own recommendation letter.

Unfortunately these things have caught on and it is extremely hard to get a paying gig as a student these days.  With rising education costs, and students having to take out loans (such as myself) to cover the cost, the internship is brutal. 

The art of the thank you card goes something like this:  First sentence:  "Thank you very much for you generous (or equivalent word) gift."  The last line is Thanks again.  Then the signature.  The trick is what to put in between those lines.  So I subscribe to the theory of buying a very small thank you card so that you only really have room to write one sentence between those two lines anyway, or two really short ones.  Such as, this will come in great use, or a brief little comment on how you enjoyed seeing them as well (if they gave you in person). 

Seriously, what’s with you photo grabbers out there.  I just discovered that random people took my pictures and put them on their profiles.  Some people had a bunch of pics of celebrities and then me on their profile.  I promptly shut off allowing photo grabbing.

I’m not sure what these people are quite thinking.  The profile photos are supposed to be of you.  Don’t take someone who doesn’t even know you and put their photo in your profile…that’s pathetic.  On another note, why does Friendster even have that option?  Am I the only one that finds that weird?

EDIT:  listen you guys aren’t grasping what I am saying.  It wasn’t my friends grabbing the pics, it was random people.

I feel tha tf r the first few seasons, 24 at least tried to stick to their "real-time" idea.  Yesterday’s season finale shows that this is no longer the point and they have given up with this.  Take Chloe’s former husband.   No less than 10 minutes of Jack coming up with a plan does Chloe get her former husband to come in to CTU fully dressed in a suit at 5:30am with a curfew and martial law in effect.  By 5:40 he has done a bunch of computer programs and is on his way to meet Jack at some remote location.  Within 7 minutes he is there meeting Jack.  What the hell?!?  Apparently President Logan lasts 42 seconds in bed as well.  Has anyone noticed that no matter where they need to go in Los Angeles, it only takes five minutes…and the traffic sucks there. 

The plots are just way too complicated to be finished in a single day now, and they really should change the show to 30, and have it take place over a month, with each episode being a day. 

The Pigeon (based on true events to me, parody of the raven)

Twas a Sunday
I tried to sleep in
But someone else was up
His day about to begin
Five more minutes
I begged and I pleaded
More sleep please
More sleep is needed
My eyes closed for five minutes more
Quoth the pigeon, "nevermore."

Monday, Tuesday
Came and went
On more studying
I was hellbent
But the flapping, the cooing
Continued past four
Can I please study in peace?
Quoth the pigeon, "nevermore."

One final down
Several to go
Quiet time as I shut my door
Quiet?  Relaxation?
The bird continues to soar
Can I take a nice nap?
Quoth the pigeon, "nevermore."

The pigeon in the courtyard
Could not still last
By Thursday surely
‘Twould be in my past
But there he was again
How long can this last?
Surely Mr. Pigeon, this is a chore
Can I please have peace?
Quoth the pigeon, "nevermore."

Of course this means
Soon I may declare war
then the pigeon ’twill be
Nevermore

So for the past week or so, my roommate and I have stayed up way too late on weeknights.  Unfortunately, it is usually my fault.  Case in point…last Wednesday night.  I have a keychain that has a tape measure on it.  The tape measure kept getting jammed, and so I decided to open it up.  I thought to hold my thumb down after opening it, and I figured out how to fix it, but I forgot to re-insert the keychain.  I opened it one more time, forgot to put my thumb down, and the tape measure uncoiled, flew out, and shot me in the face right between the eyes.  An inch or two to the left or right and I would be wearing an eye patch right now.

Well, I got fixated with the idea of fixing it.  I brought my roommate in on it.  I had him line up the pieces and I began to recoil it, I’d slip and have to start over.  Soon he became fixated as well.  An hour later it was fixed…but we forgot the key chain again!  This time, I remembered to hold it down and he lined up the keychain, put the top back on and I screwed it on.  My tape measure now works.  Look for us on home and garden tv soon.