JB’s Blog

So we all have these same problems in laundry rooms.  I have a laundry room in the basement of my apartment building.  There are 5 washing machines and yet only 3 dryers.  So what does this mean.  When you are backed up at the washing machines, you get further backed up at the dryer.  Not sure who decided this was brilliant, but clearly they were not.  I try to do my part and shove everything into one dryer.

These problems are only exacerbated by thge fact that people think when they throw their clothes in the machine, time will stop for them.  They just leave them there for about double the time they were supposed to be there.  Some people leave them overnight.  No offense, but if you leave your clothes dampo and bunched together overnight in a machine, the dryer the next day probably is not gonna save the day, unless the smell of mold in the morning is something you enjoy…and I hear skin rashes are making a comeback.  Additionally, I do not want to take your clothes out of the machine.  How do I know you didn’t forget to put soap in, that you didn’t eat a lot of Mexican food during the week, or any other disgusting thing?  I’m sorry, but I do not want to touch anyone else’s underwear.

Next if I am like 2 minutes late because I had to wait for the elevator, don’t take my stuff out of the machine and make it a treasure hunt for me to find it.  Give people 5 minutes of courtesy.  Shit happens!  Just like I don’t want to touch your underwear, you better not be touching mine!  I don’t know where you have been.

So the lesson is:  buy a watch people!

This is my current away message on instant messenger for dinner, and i thought i would share it:

"A flashback from growing up:

DINNER (no one responds)
DINNER! (no one responds)
I said dinner goddamnit!!! (video games on pause, dad leaves the sports game, time for a family dinner where we all interrupt each other)

We all know people who do it.  They wear way too many layers.  It’s usually guys with I guess too much money to spend on clothing.  Maybe there dresser won’t shut from having too much clothing and they need to wear a bunch to get it closed.  They’ll wear an undershirt.  Then maybe a t-shirt over it.  Next comes a buttom down shirt over those.  Then of course they need a sweater to tie the outfit together or something.  The button down shirt’s collar is pulled up so it sticks outside of the sweater.  Then maybe a jacket will go over that and topped off with a scarf.  Did I mention it’s like 55 degrees out!  Is there a clothes thief out there on the prowl that I have not been made aware of?  Are they trying to sweat off the pounds?

1) Apparently when moving to music at a rock concert I resemble a bobblehead doll.

2) When musicians come on stage they start off by wearing way too many layers.  Hats, sunglasses, five shirts, etc.  Gradually they get down to what a normal person would wear.  Then they rinse and repeat for the encore.

3) When women throw their bras on stage, I wonder if their underwear is as expensive as ours.  You’re lucky now if you can get three boxers for $20. 

Let’s face it…we all can look back to pictures of us years back, maybe growing up, where we had horrendous hair styles.  For my generation, we look back to the 80s and shriek in horror.  For me, my parents controlled my hair stylings for all of the 80s seeing as I was only born in 1981.  This meant that I had the "dutch boy" hair cut.  My hair was stick straight and combed straight down in all directions (think Randy Quaid in Kingpin).  My cousin had a mini-afro since his hair was curly.  This went well with his Michael Jackson jacket (hey he was cool in the 80s).

The 90s saw me take control over my hair.  I started getting buzz cuts, but for some reason thought parting my hair complimented this and my forehead filled with pimples very nicely.  The females of my high school did not seem to share my enthusiasm. 

Then came college.  In 2000-2001 I changed the part to the current flip-up.  However, I also was putting in bleached streaks through my hair and made the front totally blond.  By the spring of 2002 I was spending a semester in DC and was living in Dupont circle.  For those that know Dupont Circle, it is the San Francisco of DC to put it bluntly.  I found that my highlights rather misidentified me and so those were gone.  The final straw was when I went into a Starbucks there and the cashier said holy shit it’s a backstreet boy.  Yes he really did say that. 

That leaves me where I am today, although I have since added using gel (a few years ago) to the mix.  We all have old hair styles that are really embarassing, and I have shared mine.  Feel free to comment on your worst one.