JB’s Blog

I had a comment wondering what the 1-3-5 rule is.  I guess i take for granted that readers will know, and I forget I have an international audience.  The 1-3-5 rule is every other urinal in the men’s bathroom.  i myself prefer to use a stall as i do not like to be that close to people while taking care of business.  This is especially bad when it is really crowded and someone is waiting for you to finish at a urinal.  The pressure gets to me and i cannot go…thus why I prefer the stall. 

The second problem I have with urinals, and for some reason this seems most prevalent at airports and train stations is that some guys feel the need to stand like 3 feet away like they are doing target practice.  These tend to be old people that just whip it out and don’t care if it is visible to the whole bathroom…i mean they’re old, they just don’t care (kinda like the Seinfeld pulling out of the driveway joke).  Many of these people are the same ones that just like to chill naked in the lockerooms talking on their phones, etc.

Yesterday I had a class cancelled because of the death of someone if my professor’s family.  Yet the first thought that popped into my head was "nice…class is cancelled, early day!"  Then I went to poor professor thoughts.

There really is nothing like gettin the unexpected surprise of classes or work being cancelled when you are not expecting.  You think about how great it is for you, but fail to consider the costs involved right away.  For every snow day, that means a day when you have to make these things up.  If your boss calls in sick and gave you nothing to do, chances are you will get twice as much work when he gets back.  Human nature really is to favor immediate gains.

So this year is the very first year I could not find a Cadbury egg anywhere.  I’m not talking about the mini ones or the imitations ones…the original cadbury egg.  Is there some sort of embargo on these things in Manhattan.  I tried all the drug stores in my area, and alas, all they had were the Snickers, Hershey’s and Russel Stover wannabes.  People in Manhattan, have you seen them?  Duane Reade, Walgreens, and Kmart have let me down. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I love asian cuisine, but it may not be a great place to take a date.  Why?  Well I’ll tell you.  They serve the food too freakin fast.  For example, I took a girl out for Thai food at an area restaurant.  We each ordered an entree and I also ordered some wine.  Well no more than 3 minutes after we ordered they brought the wine AND the food to the table.  Dinner was over in like 20 minutes!  It kinda kills the whole mood when dinner flies by that quickly…especially when you didn’t make any further plans.  Now if you already have several things planned, then it might be alright, but on a second or third date it may not be the way to go.

EDIT:  You all seem to have ignored the fact that I said I love asian food and some write me angry letters.  In general chinese and thai places serve fast.  Some have messaged me saying Japanese is slower and there are some other places that are slower.  Well now you know.  Obviously if you ALREADY KNOW of a place that is not that fast then this is no big deal.  I am speaking about places in New York…so for all you international readers not from here that blasted me, how would you know?

1)  The direct web address to this blog is http://jb.blogs.friendster.com     You do not have to be my friend on friendster to get to this.  You can bookmark/favorite that if you want to find my blog in the future.

2) I ordered in Chinese food last night.  I didn’t get a fortune cookie!  I don’t know what that could mean.  Is that like the ultimate bad fortune?  Well you’re gonna be dead tomorrow so we’re not even going to bother to send you a cookie.

3) I do not think every who kisses ass is successful.  I think the rates are the same, just they like to brag more about what they are doing.  Remember they talk more to begin with.  I’ve always had the opposite problem anyway.  After class or around the halls professors would come up and start talking to me.  In college I was planning on skipping my philosophy class and on my way out of the building i stop in the bathroom.  I am at the urinal when low and behold someone uses the urinal next to me in clear violation of the 1-3-5 rule and says hello!!!  Don’t talk to me while I’m doing my business!  Anyway it was the professor whose class I was going to skip.  Foiled!  The other example is my contracts professor last year who had just come back from a week long hospital stay and after class comes up to me and says he’s concerned about me because I look overly tired.  He’s concerned about me!  He just nearly died or something and he’s worried about me looking sleepy.  It was one of those awkward conversations I just wanted to get out of.

Well you may have noticed this all the way back to your elementary days, but sadly it even exists outside of college.  In college, I suppose I could sort of see a point as your names where actually on the tests.  In law school your finals are all graded anonymously.  They do not know what test you wrote.  You get a number, and then a separate office correlates the grades.  So kissing ass in law school is well…it just makes you look stupid.

There are people who somehow feel the need to go down to a professor after every single class to ask questions.  They same three or four students harass the poor professor after every class.  Now these students are never that dumb, they clearly get the material.  Yet somehow they feel the need to invent questions.  I can’t help but think that if I was the professor up front and these same jackasses came up everyday after class with questions, they might be borderline retarded because obivously they do not grasp the materials EVERY CLASS.

Well in case you haven’t figured out by now I am a back row person.  I come in take my notes, learn, then bounce.  As for the people that always sit in the front, I don’t know how they do it.  What happens if a random funny story pops in your head, or the kid next to you asks you something.  Hard to laugh or say anything when the prof is 3 feet from you.  Ah well…I’m done.

I think there should be a new type of music that combines Country-Rock, and Piano.  In other words, CRAP music.  Technically those can work together.  Take country-rock.  There is this group called the Old 97’s who did all country.  Yet they have this song called "Won’t be Home" that is being played on the indie rock station right now.  It’s kinda catchy.  Anyway, point is that is country-rock.  Throw in a piano, then you’d have CRAP.

Think about how great that’d be.  This music is CRAP.  You could be like, yes, it is, how did you know?  The world has gone to crap…well i dunno about the world but some stations have.  See the possibilities?  Aren’t acronyms fun?

This could be the start of something folks.  You know some DJ from Cleveland in the 1950s came up with the term "Rock n Roll" (thus why the hall of fame is there).

Yesterday I went to visit my uncle in Connecticut and at dinner we went for Chinese Buffet.  When we got there, the buffet maybe was 20×20 ft.  Yet everyone felt the need to tell everyone else where everything was.  Oh they have ribs over there.  Well the soup is over here and te ice cream is over there.  Yeah I get it, the ice cream is under the flashing neon lights that say ice cream.  Alright that was an exaggeration, but the point is none of this stuff is hard to find.  Yet every time I remember going to a buffet, I remember people doing that no matter how small the buffet is.  Are you really gonna go into a buffet and totally disregard a whole row of food…uh-uh i never go browse the penultimate row…c’mon now.

Anyway as for the sleep, I think some of the comments did hit on it.  I do have a very active mind, and yes the key is to let your mind go blank…easier said then done.

Well I have noticed I have inspired some people on my friend list to get into the bloggin thing.  Good luck guys.  Anyway as my time on the featured list I’m sure is winding up, I hope you folks that have been reading stay with me and tell your friends to read.

Next, as I was microwaving my popcorn to watch a movie last night, I realized the guy that invented the popcorn button deserves the Nobel Prize.  No more will we have to figure out what in the 2-4 minute range to set our microwave to.  We will not have to sit there at the microwave with a stopwatch counting the time between pops.  Wait, was it 3 or 4 seconds between pops when we shut ut down…crap I threw out the box!  Screw that up and it’s all burned.  On the other end if you screw it up you have a bunch of kernels.  We all have thought, maybe I can put it back in the microwave.  EH!  Not a every good idea.  You could of course also try to chew on the kernels, but then that hurts the teeth.  So in short, or is it long already, thank you Mr. Popcorn Button Inventor Guy.  Bud Light should have made him a real american hero/genius.  Afterall I was (I was a supermarket deli meat slicer briefly)

To answer those U.S. History comments, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."  That was the speech, Stephen, was Senator Stephen Douglas.  Roger was Justice Roger Taney.  Franklin would have to be President Pierce.  For James, President James Buchanan. 

I have always been jealous of people that could fall asleep right away.  We all know the type, their head hits the pillow, they close their eyes, and five minutes later they are on their way to tomorrow.  So peaceful, so serene, so not me.

Let me give you a typical night for me.  Well if I want to get 8 hours of sleep, I will need to start 10 hours before I want to get up.  I will lay down, and I’m a side sleeper.  I’ll go to one side of the pillow, and I have to have one arm around a smaller pillow (i’m not sure why).  Well I close my eyes, I’m exhausted, but nothing.  Sleep is not taking.  Now that side of the pillow is getting warm.  Time to make the move to the other side.  The same thing happens.  And thus the cycle.  Back and forth, back and forth, oh crap my arms are falling asleep.  Now I have to lay on my back until my arms recover.  Now I start thinking about maybe I should go pee.  But then if I get up to go, I feel like I am resetting the cycle.  I debate about this in my mind for five minutes, maybe more, who knows?  Of course I eventually go.  Usually 60-120 minutes later I will finally fall asleep.  I consider how bad my night was based on how many bathroom trips I make.  Once that bathroom thought comes into your mind you pretty much cannot fall asleep until you go.  However, I am lucky that I am a sound sleeper.

So this is my nighttime curse.  I can be exhausted but will still go through this.  I do not have caffeine after 4pm, I drink chamomile tea at night.  I’ve tried the over-the counter sleep help, but ah well…they all fail.  Clearly I will need a king sized bed when I start having to share my bed regularly or any relationship will fail because of my tossing and turning.  Also sharing a room with someone that is not a sound sleeper (i.e. a hotel room) seems to be a problem as well.  But to end on a positive note…AT LEAST I DON’T SNORE!